Bolt hung up his track shoes for good following this year’s Athletics World Championships in London, where injury ruined his swansong.
“Usain Bolt, you’ll keep the yellow, we’ll keep you a champion,” the club proclaimed on Facebook as they rolled out the red carpet.
“Beira Mar, a club where dreams come true, announce that we are ready to make the dream of one of the best athletes of all time come true!
“Usain Bolt, come and make your dream come true, come and play for Beira Mar.”
Among the perks offered in lieu of salary are “the honour of putting on our shirt, the world’s best fans,” and three steak sandwiches or hamburgers a week, depending on the time of year.
The club made it clear that the offer does not include French fries, as “times are hard for everybody,” but do throw in the generous (literal) sweetener of 12 ‘ovos molos’, a meringue-type confectionary, a day — “provided nobody eats them all first in the dressing room,” they helpfully add.